No matter where you are in the journey of separation, whether in the pain of marital breakdown, the stress of the legal process, or pivoting for an uncertain future, you need four words to keep going.
“This, too, shall pass.”
No one knows who said it. I prefer to believe it was Confucius because the other phrase I really like (“Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations”) originated with an American sales marketer. So it was totally Confucius.
“This, too, shall pass.”
There is no such thing as a fun and easy divorce. Even if you are 25 with no kids, it’s just not something you hear about. More often, the deciding stage is tough; the filing and negotiating stage is tough; and the rebuilding stage (which tends to overlap with the previous stage) is tough. Tough is not insurmountable. It’s not even life-defining. It’s just tough.
Your Orbit can get you through it. Your Cindys can get you through it. White Horse can get you through it. There will always be someone here to help you, even if it ends up being only me.
But nothing will help you more than these four words.
“This, too, shall pass.”
You don’t need them in the good times, but when you need them, you need them.
They are 100%, honest-to-God true.
You will emerge from this moment.
It will end.
Nothing goes on forever, not even divorce. It doesn’t even go on that long in the context of a full life.
It’s a blip.
“This, too, shall pass.”
While it’s passing, you can wait, or you can act. I would always urge you to act. Time will proceed either way. The divorce phase will pass either way. One day you will be out in the sunlight, spit out of the fog like a watermelon seed, and the only question you need to ask is…
What You Want That Moment To Look Like.
“This, too, shall pass.”
You can choose not to be spit out unwashed, in your elastic pants, with Oreo crumbs in your teeth, red wine stains on your lips, and a crumpled kleenex in your pocket.
You can choose to shoot out like a glorious cannon, confident, excited, positive, optimistic, physically and mentally positioned for the next chapter.
As my very own mom told me, over my ugly sobs…
“You’re going to get there eventually. Why wait? Why not get a jump on it now so you get there early?”
Get there early. Confucius probably said that, too. (God knows I never did.)
While you’re busy deciding how to experience the passing time—and as hard as it is to remember, it is a choice—do not forget the four words.
“This, too, shall pass.”
Why not be ready?
